By Joe Sixpack
Posted on Mar. 13, 2009 on Joe Sixpack

'DRUNK BY NOON?" read the headline in the Houston Chronicle last week. "Perfectly acceptable in Philly."

It was an Associated Press story about the number of morning tavern events spicing up Philly Beer Week. "In many places," said the report, "drinking before noon is something to hide. Not in Philadelphia."

More than a couple of local readers sent me the link, outraged that we'd been disparaged as a town of reeling winos, clutching soggy brown paper bags while the rest of America wakes up to Starbucks.

Yet another example of fascist, Bible-thumping neo-Prohibitionism that demonizes even responsible consumption as the equivalent of getting drunk, whined one.Breakfast of champions

"Enjoying a morning beer doesn't make us alcoholics," said another.

Of course not, but like Sheryl Crow sang, there are times when "I like a good beer buzz early in the morning." And I've got a feeling I'm not the only one.

Gives the whole day a different, vital perspective. A crisp, bracing glass of a.m. beer sharpens the focus, brightens the gloom and puts a smile on my face. Even "The Today's Show's" Matt Lauer can't ruin a day that begins with a frothy glass.

Foreclosure? No job? Who cares?

Maybe I'm just numbing reality, but don't wag your finger - not when Americans spend $12 billion a year on antidepressants. I guarantee, my lager tastes a lot better than your Zoloft.

And here's something else: Maybe if those greedy bastards on Wall Street had suds in their mugs instead of caffeine, we wouldn't be in this fix right now. I never met a beer drinker who put money before people.

Which leads me to the point of this column: What makes a good breakfast beer?

It's tempting to reach for something that pairs well with your meal. A rich, silky glass of Barney Flats Oatmeal Stout is a natural complement to a bowl of cinnamon-and-raisin Quaker Oats.

But don't take that too far. Otherwise some morning you'll find yourself facing a pint of scrapple-flavored Fruit Loops pilsner.

In my experience, it's the Bavarians who pour the perfect breakfast beer: hefeweizen. Wander through Munich's outdoor Viktualienmarkt at 10 in the morning, and you'll see happy Germans washing down a pair of weisswurst with a tall, half-liter of hefeweizen.

A hazy, golden glass of this unfiltered wheat beer looks almost like o.j. Put your nose to the foam, and you're met with a sunny waft of banana and citrus, sensuous aromas that are the product of yeast fermentation.

A plate of scrambled eggs and a glass of Ayinger Bräu Weisse - that's my Breakfast of Champions.

Too light for you? How about weizenbock, a dark, murky wheat beer with a bigger (7-10 percent alcohol) kick.

Last weekend at the Grey Lodge's Eat Your Wheaties brunch, Frank Chatary was singing the praises of Penn Weizenbock. "It's like apple juice," he said, grinning.

Across the table, his friend Beverly Pettine was polishing off a glass of Flying Fish Imperial Espresso Porter, a breakfast beer with a slightly stiffer (8 percent alcohol) bite. It's made with a five-bean blend that balances the porter's rich chocolate malt flavor with the bitterness of dark roast java.

"Just like black coffee," she said.

Indeed, coffee beer has emerged as a distinct style with some outstanding examples, including Mikkeller Beer Geek Breakfast from Denmark and Founders Kentucky Breakfast Stout from Michigan. Philadelphia Brewing makes perky Joe Porter, brewed with locally roasted Peruvian coffee beans.

Wawa oughta serve them all right next to the Kona blend.

"Joe Sixpack" by Don Russell appears weekly in Big Fat Friday. For more on the beer scene in Philly and beyond, visit www.joesixpack.net. Send e-mail to joesixpack@phillynews.com.