Recently my friends and I went to a $400 dollar a plate benefit at one of the best hotels in the city of Philadelphia. To protect the innocent I will keep names and exact dates out of this. Despite everything that I witnessed wrong with the event my friends and I had a fantastic evening amusing ourselves.

Upon arrival to the hotel we were greeted by a gracious but less than friendly doorman just going through his paces counting the hours perhaps minutes before his shift ended.

Entering the hotel there were no clear directions or somebody to greet us and send us in the right direction. Once we got on the right track we found ourselves at the ball.

AHH!!! The ball. When we arrived we found ourselves in the lobby looking for the coat check, again nobody there to point us in the right direction. The girl at the coat check was very nice and friendly which at this point was a plus for the event and she was not even connected with the event.

Time check: 6:45pm. Getting to the bar was no problem because all you had to do was look for the crowd. Well at that time there was no crowd. We did encounter some bored bartenders with very little personality. Now being in the business I do understand that there is a specific way one should act while working for the general public. These two bartenders however were just void of personality at this time - towards the end of the evening they seemed to liven up or maybe they were just happy to almost be done their shift.

Remember $400 dollars a plate! The bar was in my estimation under-stocked for this type of event. The best whiskey you could get was Seagram’s VO. A pleasant drink but not what I would expect for this type of event. There was a poor selection of beer for those who drink beer. The basics such as Tanquray and Absolute were available but again good selections just a little under what I would expect for an event such as this. The house white and the house red were tasty but not my first selection for wines.

The silent auction was interesting at best. I encountered some fascinating items. There were a few items that caught my eye but nothing that I would go out of my way to make a bid on. I did however make a bid on one item for my wife and mother-in-law. Somebody got it though at the last minuet.

Time check: 8:00pm. Time to go in for dinner. A beautiful room something to behold. Elegant to no end, now this is what I was expecting from a $400 dollar a plate dinner.

To my surprise dinner and dancing were going to have to wait. I truly believe this crowd could make a run at ruining the Mummers parade. We had a couple of drinks while everybody was getting settled and then came the speeches. What seemed forever lasted for over one hour? This group of people was probably the most self-serving pompous group I ever had the misfortune to encounter. What should have taken twenty minutes lasted entirely too long. My friends and I were so bored with the speeches that we were talking among ourselves. The table next to us for the most part was very nice except for one. Now this person was older than most, in fact she probably died twenty years ago and nobody told her because they were afraid they would lose out on inheritance money. She was rude to no end. She acted as if the world had to stop and conform to what she wanted. Which included hitting my arm three times to tell me my conversation with my wife and friends was bothering her? Unfortunately this person will probably never read this article and if she does maybe she will learn how much of an old bag she really is.

Time check: 9:30pm and we are just getting the first course because of the speeches. Lets start with the bread, that’s not the first coarse. There were some fantastic flavors in the bread, a definite compliment to the theme of the evening. The first course was coming a little slow but I think that was because the kitchen and the chef had the food ready long before we got it and had to make it over because the speeches were taking so long. The first course was a delicious salad made up of a well-combined group of lettuces and shrimp. I have one question to ask the chef. What happened to the dressing? The execution of the dressing was poor. The salad had a slight hint of dressing on it but the servers were a little slow in getting around to see if anyone needed more.

Time check: 9:50pm. The main coarse was coming. Finally the creation we have all endured the endless speeches and the bitchy old lady for. A petite filet prepared to a perfect medium. I am sure however the filet started out at rare when it was put on the plate because by the time we got the filets it was medium and cold. The assortment of vegetables were flavored to perfection for cold food.

I will not take anything away from the chef and the well-trained staff in the kitchen because the people in charge of the event decided to pound on their chests and tell us how great they were, causing the meals to go out at a standard I’m sure the chef is not accustomed to. The meals were seasoned to perfection just served cold. The dessert was a seasonal apple tort with a touch of homemade ice cream on top that was fantastic.

I did enjoy the wines that were served with the meal. Obviously they got everybody loaded on the cheaper stuff and then brought out the good stuff. I found out later the wines were donated to the event. I am truly impressed with the person who did this. The person who picked these wines has excellent taste.

Time check: 10:40pm. By now my group is getting ready to have a great time dancing. No, not yet. We need to hear more about how they need to raise money. So lets auction off a couple of furs and a trip. I guess this is where you see who has the bigger check book and who is smart enough not to over-bid on these items. Now I am not an expert on the furs but I am pretty sure Zinman furs will give you a better deal on the same thing when the winter is over and the warm weather is coming. I laughed at the one trip to the islands, somebody paid over $4000.00 dollars for a trip that you could book on the Internet for $1500.00 dollars. Just because you have money doesn’t mean you are the smartest person in the world.

Time check: 11:15pm. Let the dancing begin. Finally we can dance! Wait; let’s see the flamenco dancers! These three ladies and the gentleman playing the guitar were fantastic and captivating. I was impressed at the enthusiasm and professionalism they showed. Well done!

Time check: 11:30pm. Time to dance. Yes, it was. The band was great. They did a few swing numbers that gave my group a good lift at the end of the evening. It was that we ended up being the only ones dancing because the rest of the crowd left. There were a few other people but not many.

Midnight - time to go. I would like to thank the gang I was with because without them the night just would not have been the same. I believe it’s not the event it’s the people you are with that make the event.

Out for a nightcap and on to Geno's steaks. I have never had a bad cheese steak from there.

Chef Mike