1 cup water
1 cup butter
1 cup sugar
4 large brown eggs
2 cups dried fruit
1 tsp. salt
1 cup brown sugar
Lemon juice
Nuts
Bottle of whiskey

Sample the whiskey to check for quality. Take a large bowl. Check the whiskey again. To be sure it's the highest quality pour one level cup and drink. Repeat. Turn on electric mixer. Beat one cup butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add one teaspoon of sugar and beat again. Make sure the whiskey is still OK. Try another cup. Turn off the mixer. Beat 2 Leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the dried fruit. Mix on the tuner. If the fired druit gets stuck in the beaters, pry it loose with a drewscriver. Sample the whiskey to check for onsisticity. Next sift 2 cups of salt or something. Who cares. Check the whiskey. Now sift the lemon juice and strain the nuts. Add one tablespoon of sugar or something. Whatever you can find. Grease the oven. Turn the cake tin to 350 degrees. Throw the bowl out the window. Check the oven and whiskey for coonenes every five minutes.