Courtesy of Silly Sports

Here's the first chapter in a series of articles designed to explain the game of football to football widows who just might be curious as to why the hell all those guys are running around smacking into one another other. Chapter 1 assumes you know little or nothing about the game and as such, it addresses the basics. Future chapters will deal with the Players and the Plays, the Rules and the Officials, the Mystique of the Game and assorted other game related topics. For a more in depth study of the game, you might want to try Joe Theisman's "The Complete Idiot's Guide to Understanding Football". (Hey, don't yell at me, I didn't make up the title!!?!).

Chapter 1...the Basics

Object of the Game:
to score more points than your opponent. Unlike some sports, ie, soccer, basketball and hockey, which have continual action or play, American Football is much more controlled or structured.

• Each side takes turns having "possession" of the ball. When side A has possession they are trying to score points while Side B is trying to prevent them from scoring while trying to regain possession of the ball.
• There are 11 players per side on the field at any given time.
• When a team has possession of the ball they use their offensive team, (they're "on offense"). When their opponent has possession of the ball, they field their defensive team, (they're "on defense").
• There are special teams which come on the field for kickoffs, field goals, extra points and punts.

The Field:

• The playing field is 120 yards long and about 53 yards wide.
• Each side has an "end zone" which it defends.
• Each side, when it has possession of the ball, attempts to advance the ball into the opponent's end zone...Having possession of the ball in your opponent's end zone gives you a touchdown!. An alternative method of scoring is the "field goal"...kicking the ball between the upright posts of the opponent's goal posts.
• The 6 inch line between each end zone and the playing field is called "the goal line".
• In between the 10 yard deep end zones is a playing field (or battlefield) 100 yards long. The playing field is marked with solid lines every 5 yards and each individual yard of the 100 is marked off with lines called "hashmarks".
• (Goal posts are the odd looking structures located at the back of each end zone. Players often celebrate by punching it, running headlong into it, (sometimes deliberately!?), and idiotic fans sometimes tear the things down.



Sequence of Play:

• At the beginning of the game, at the beginning of the second quarter, after every touchdown and every field goal, the ball is put into play via the "kickoff". One team kicks off to the other, a player from the "receiving team" catches the ball and runs upfield while his teammates block and players from the kicking team attempt prevent his progress upfield by knocking him into next week. When he is tackled or runs out of bounds, the play is over.
• The ball is now put into play at the point where the runner was tackled. The spot on the field where the ball is put into play is called "the line of scrimmage"... Where exactly along the line of scrimmage the ball is spotted depends on where the ball carrier was tackled. If he was tackled between the "hashmarks", the ball is placed exactly where his knee touched the ground. If he was tackled outside the hashmarks or ran out of bounds, the ball is placed on the hashmark closest to where the tackle occurred.
• The team "on offense" now must either score a touchdown or advance the ball at least 10 yards up field toward the opponent's end zone, and, they must do it in 4 plays or less. If they succeed in advancing the ball 10 or more yards upfield in 4 or fewer tries, they get a "first down"...that is, they get another 4 chances to move the ball at least 10 yards. Play continues until that team either scores or fails to make a "first down".

You might hear an announcer use the word "ball control"....this is a reference to a team that continually picks up one first down after another and uses up clock time in the process. Very important strategy here ladies....if you have the ball, if you are exercising "ball control", your opponent can't score.


Scoring
...scoring is done is one of 4 ways.



• Touchdown...having possession of the ball in your opponent's end zone. This can be done by a player running into the end zone carrying the ball, a player falling on a loose ball in the opponent's end zone, or, by having a player throw the ball to a teammate in the end zone. It's worth 6 points.
• Field Goal...when it looks like a team will not be able to score a touchdown but they are close to the opponent's end zone, they often times elect to try a field goal. This works the same way as the "extra single point"...one team attempts to kick the ball between the uprights of the other team's goal posts. If successful, it's worth 3 points.
• "Point After Touchdown"...after a team scores a touchdown, they get the right to try for an extra point. There are two methods and the team that scored gets to choose which one to try. The "extra point" method is the most common. The team that just scored the touchdown tries to kick the ball between the uprights of the goal posts. This is worth one point if successful. The other method is the "two point conversion". The team that scored the touchdown puts the ball in play at the opponent's 3 yard line and runs a play. If a member of that team is able to cross over into the opponent's end zone, it's worth 2 points.
• Safety...worth 2 points. The guy with the ball gets tackled in his OWN end zone, or, a member of the offensive team commits a penalty in the end zone. The defensive team receives two points.
****Drawing represents a field goal or extra point being kicked through the goal posts

How Long is this Damned Game Anyway??
The game is 60 minutes worth of "playing time" long. It is divided into 2 halves....(there is a break at half time), and 4 quarters. Each quarter is 15 minutes worth of "playing time" long. So, if the game is only 60 minutes long, why does it take over 3 hours to play? The game clock, which measures the actual 60 minutes worth of playing time stops at the following times.

• When a team takes a time out.
• When a player runs out of bounds
• Immediately after any score
• When a referee is assessing a penalty
• When there is an injury
• After every incomplete forward pass

 

Quick Review and Silly Sports quiz

A touchdown is worth how many points?


1. 6 points
2. 3 points
3. I don't give a flying $#!@ how many points it is...every time somebody scores one, my (husband/boyfriend) jumps up yelling and spills chip dip all over my rug.


The object of the game is to


1. have possession of the ball in your opponents end zone
2. practice ball control
3. practice birth control


How long does a game last?


1. 60 minutes
2. 3 hours
3. my husband should last as long in bed

Silly Sports Enterprises Inc
All Rights Reserved
June 1999